Hijinks
by IseeButterfly
Summary: DeeDum throw a party. Penryn's first encounter with rum. Raffe's first encounter with a drunk Penryn. Post EoD. Fluff.


**DeeDum throw a little party. Penryn's first encounter with rum, Raffe's first encounter with a drunk Penryn. Post EoD. Raffryn Fluff.**

 _Note: This story is written for humorous purposes only and does not advertise underage drinking. If you don't have Raffe there to take care of you, please be responsible while drinking ;)_

* * *

 **Hijinks**

„I'm telling you, a party is just what the people need now. It's been some rough weeks."

"The moral of the people is low."

"And we're experts in keeping the spirit high."

"Trust us."

Penryn sighed as she looked at Dee and Dum's shining faces, wearing identical expressions of excitement.

"It's not that I am opposed to the idea of a party. I just don't know if the occasion justifies throwing one."

"It's a big milestone in the negotiations with the angels," Dee said.

"Yes, a huge step forward."

"They agreed to listen to a group of representatives of humankind after refusing communication with anyone human for weeks. I don't think you can really talk of 'negotiations' just yet."

Dum clapped his hands. "So, it's a start. That's reason enough to party. And besides, if anyone doesn't want to come, they are welcome to stay home."

"Except no one will. The people are craving for some excuse to get drunk and let off some steam."

"By dancing," Dum hastily explained.

Penryn sighed in defeat. "Fine. But don't expect any help from me. I have enough on my hands, I don't have time for organizing a party. And if this flops, it's your responsibility."

"Oh, don't worry. This party will blow the roof off."

* * *

And it did.

The twins used Palo Alto High as the location ("We just want to make sure that the people remember that the Resistance is what we're actually celebrating. Namely, us. And you, of course, Angel slayer. Plus, excessive drinking and partying on a school ground? Hell yes!") and god only knew where they had managed to get all the fairy lights that were wrapped around the branches of the trees, or the dozens of bottles of various alcoholic and non-alcoholic beverages that covered a long table at one side of the yard.

Penryn was surprised by how many people were already milling around on the grass when she arrived. The party had been announced less than four hours ago, and yet it seemed that everyone had made time to come. Maybe DeeDum were right. Maybe the people really needed this. She certainly could use a night off from all the stress. She'd rushed out of a meeting with the other elected representatives one hour ago, hastily taking a shower in the tiny apartment her family had been assigned – no glory for the heroes of war, it seemed – before digging through her pile of clothes for something she could wear to a party.

Penryn looked around for a familiar face. She knew many people from the fight at the Golden Gate Bridge or her time at the Resistance camp, but she didn't feel confident enough to join any of the groups. She spotted DeeDum at the table with the booze and made her way over to them.

"Not bad, guys. I don't know where you managed to get all this alcohol in one day, but can't say I'm not impressed."

"We have our sources," Dum winked. They were both wearing ridiculous orange flies that didn't fit at all with their blue shirts.

"Interesting choice of color," Penryn commented with a nod.

"Portal colors," Dee explained proudly. "It's a video game."

"And it's awesome."

"One of the many things I miss in the new world. But if we manage to get the internet running again, we'd be the real heroes of our time."

Penryn watched the people around her, the crowed thickening by the minute. She could only pray that her mother wouldn't show up. Who knew how she would react to so many people around. Or what would happen if she drank alcohol…

"Well, hello there, maggot slayer. I didn't peg you as a party girl, but here you are."

Howler sauntered over to her, Hawk and Cyclone on his tails. Though they had put on jackets to at least partially cover their wings, they stood out by their size alone, dwarfing the people around them.

"Hey guys. Going to a human party? Not afraid of trouble?"

Howler grinned. "Girl, we _are_ the trouble. Plus, we wouldn't miss out on a party after spending the last centuries in the Pit. It's time we do something fun again."

"Excellent attitude, sir," Dee said and held out a bottle of amber liquid with an overly sparkish gesture. DeeDum were some of the few people that had adjusted to the presence of angels – or rather, former angels – amongst them surprisingly quickly. In fact, they seemed to relish their company ("Fallen angels? That's positively badass. And as long as they're on our side, why not?").

Cyclone grabbed the bottle out of Dee's hand and took a swig. "What's this watered down stuff? Is that supposed to be rum?"

"Let me try!" Howler took the bottle from Cyclone, who was already busy waving over two other Watchers, and gulped down a good third of the bottle.

DeeDum looked shocked.

"I think they can handle a lot more than humans," Penryn explained, suppressing an eye roll. "Also, they're showoffs." She threw a furtive glance at the sky. If the Watchers were here, did that mean Raffe was also coming?

"Well, they're less welcome here if they drink all our alcohol." Dum seemed indignant. "And if you don't like the Captain, I suppose you bring your own stuff."

"The Captain?" Hawk sniffed the content of the bottle before putting it to his lips.

"Captain Morgan. He was a privateer of the Caribbean in the seventeenth century and the bearer of the name of this wonderful rum beverage."

"Seventeenth century?" Hawk held out the bottle to Penryn, who hesitated. "Yeah, I'm pretty sure we missed that. Don't you want it?"

Penryn raised an eyebrow. "I'm seventeen."

"We promise we won't tell the police," Dee smirked. Penryn sighed and took the bottle. She wasn't exactly an avid drinker (at all), but she supposed she could need an evening of sweet, mind-numbing fun.

The rum tasted disgusting, too sharp and too spicy, and Penryn thankfully gulped down the coke that Dee held out to her.

"That stuff burns through your esophagus," she coughed.

"Not used to drinking?" Howler asked. "Aww, that's cute. You're so innocent, I feel like we're corrupting you."

"Better be careful," Cyclone said. "If the Commander finds out you're getting his girl sloshed, he'll kill you."

"Is he coming tonight?" Penryn asked casually, running her thumb over the cool bottleneck.

Howler shrugged. "He didn't say so. He used to be a huge party animal, but maybe things have changed while we were down in the Pit."

"Oh, really?" Now her interest was piqued. She knew virtually nothing about Raffe's live before earth, much less about his party behavior.

"Absolutely. He was great fun. Once we made a bet on who would hunt down a leviathan first while we were totally boozed. And let me tell you, hunting down a leviathan is no walk in the park even if you're sober. Are you going to drink that or can I have it?"

Penryn took another swig, grimacing at the sharp taste. At least the liquor warmed her up.

"Woah, take it easy, girl," Howler protested and took the bottle from her hands, inspecting what was left of the rum. "You shouldn't drink that fast, a tiny thing like you." Despite his words, he was grinning.

"Well," Dum said. "This is promising to be a fun night."

"And if anyone is planning on making bets tonight, please talk to us first."

* * *

It was shortly after midnight when a large shadow swooped down from the sky and landed a few feet away from the small group of ex-angels and humans on the lawn.

"Raffe!" Penryn shouted as his silhouette solidified against the black night, his wings folding tightly behind his back. She practically hopped into his arms as he walked up to the group.

"Hey," he greeted, slightly surprised. Penryn drew back and beamed up at him. "I thought you weren't coming!"

Raffe inspected her. She was wearing a sleeveless, black dress and heels, which wasn't something he saw every day. "New dress?"

"Yes!" She made a spin on her heels, slightly wobbly on her feet. "You like it?"

"I do," he said, raking his eyes over her form. "You look beautiful in it."

Penryn came to an abrupt stop, stumbling slightly, but her face broke out into a dazzling smile. "Oh, I have the sweetest boyfriend."

She wrapped her arms around his middle and nestled into his arms, hugging him close.

"Uh…"  
Raffe was pretty sure that Penryn had never referred to him as her _boyfriend_ before. It wasn't technically wrong, it just sounded really weird. He wasn't a sixteen year old human boy after all.

"I'm soooooooo happy that you're here," Penryn sighed into his chest.

Raffe looked over her head at his Watchers, which were observing the scene with a mixture of amusement and guilt. Raffe's eyes narrowed.

"Penryn, are you drunk?"

She pulled her head back from his chest and grinned excitedly. Damnit, she was cute. How was he going to stay mad at her when she looked at him like that? "I am! Isn't that crazy? Well, I suppose it isn't, really. Whatever. Though rum is dis-gus-ting. Yuck, I _hate_ how it tastes. Have you tried it? You must. Do we have any more?"

"Not for you, lovely," Howler said with a laugh, but sobered under Raffe's look.

"Wait, are angels allowed to fly after they've drunken alcohol? Because that would be irresponsible. Don't drink and fly!" Penryn laughed at her own words, then got interrupted by a hiccup.

Raffe struggled to keep a straight face. "How much rum did she have?"

"Not _that_ much, Commander. I think she just can't handle much because she's so tiny."

"Hey!" Penryn peeled herself away from Raffe's embrace and spun around to face Cyclone, who raised his eyebrows. "Stop saying that I'm small. I _am aware of that,_ god damnit! Doesn't matter. If anything, it's embarrassing for you because I could kick _your_ ass regardless." To prove her point, she walked up to him on slightly unsteady feet, swung her leg back and kicked his shin. Cyclone didn't seem to be in any pain, but his mouth fell open in surprise.

The others burst out into laughter. "Way to go, girl!" Hawk chuckled and patted Penryn on the back.

"The only reason why you'd win is that Raphael would rip off my arms if I laid a finger on you," Cyclone warned, but his eyes twinkled with amusement.

"You're right about that," Raffe said.

"Here!" Penryn held a bottle with a pirate on the label under his nose. It was half empty. "Try this. They say it's watered down, but I think they are lying." She leaned closer and lowered her voice. Raffe's eyes fell to her tempting, red lips. "I think they are trying to show how manly they are. Idiots."

Raffe grinned at his men. "Yeah, you're not wrong about that." He took the bottle from her hand before she dropped it.

"You drank half a bottle of rum?"

"No, no," Hawk explained. "This is the second one. But she didn't really drink any of it. She took some good swigs from the first one, but this was all us. Do you think we're stupid?"

Raffe took a sip from the bottle and swished the liquor around in his mouth. The rum was artificially flavored and had an aftertaste that reminded him vaguely of sweet potatoes. "Hate to break it to you, but compared to the stuff that we drank a few centuries ago, this _is_ pretty much watered down. Though I still think you're right about them wanting to show off. Besides, the stuff that people used to put in their bodies to get intoxicated back then was absolutely disgusting."

"Exactly, disgusting!" Penryn jumped up and down, holding onto his arm like a hyperactive puppy. "Play a drinking game with me, Raffe? There are lots of different games. We just don't have any cards. Or any cups to spare. Hmm."

"How about you drink a glass of water first, so you don't end up having a massive hangover in the morning?"

Raffe gestured to Hawk, who poured Penryn a cup of water that she obediently drank.

"Do I get a reward now?"

"That depends on what you want."

As an answer, she raised up on her toes and tilted her head back, closing her eyes expectantly. Raffe chuckled and cupped her face in his hands, kissing her softly. Penryn sighed into the kiss and grabbed the lapel of his jacket, pulling him closer. Raffe gently broke away from the kiss, but she clung to him, pressing her face in the crook of his neck.

"Umm, Penryn…"

"Mhmm, _Iloveyou_ ," she murmured against his skin.

"I love you too, sweetie, but maybe it's time for you to go to bed?"

"Yes!" She perked up, her grip on his collar tightening. She rose up on her toes, bringing her face as close to his as possible with their height difference. "Let's go to _bed_." She gave him a very obvious wink and smirked.

"How about we wait until next morning for that?"

Penryn's smile fell and she stuck out her bottom lip. "Party pooper."

She stepped back from him, crossing her arms over her chest. "Come on, baby, don't be mad," Raffe coaxed and tapped her under the chin with his finger. She pouted at him for a couple more seconds – damnit, she really had a tempting mouth – but then her expression brightened.

"Alright, I forgive you."

"I'm infinitely grateful. How about I fly you home now?"

"I love flying! Piggyback ride!"

"What the hell is – _Hey!_ " With surprising energy, Penryn jumped on his back, wrapping her arms and legs around him.

"Woah, woah, careful Penryn! I have wings, remember?"

"Yes," she sighed and put her head on his shoulder. "I think that's so cool. I mean, who has a boyfriend that can _fly_?"

"Yeah…" Raffe brought his hands up to rest on her thighs, supporting her weight. "But how am I supposed to use them when you sit on them?"

For a moment, there was silence. Then, Penryn let out a startled gasp and jumped off his back. A second later, she was clinging to him again, front this time, and was all but sobbing into his chest.

"Oh my god, _sorrysorrysorry!_ I didn't think about it! And you already had so many back surgeries after… after…" She was close to tears. Raffe felt horrible. He hadn't seen her cry often, and he really couldn't handle it. Whenever he saw her in tears – which, again, really hadn't been many times – he felt like someone had kicked him in the gut.

"Oh no, Penryn. Shh. Hush. Everything is alright! I'm fine." He cupped her face and stroke her cheeks with his thumbs, relieved when he found no wetness on her skin. "It's alright, my back is fine. I just can't really use my wings when you sit on them, right? When we're home, I can give you a piggyback ride anytime. Okay?"

Penryn nodded, her eyes looking considerably drier again. Raffe sighed in relief.

"Now, how about we move this party to your house?"

"Oh, no, Raffe, come on! It's super early!"

She grabbed a random bottle from the table and tried to unscrew the crown cap.

"I think you've had enough."

"Ugh, this cap sits really firm. Wha-"

Raffe took the bottle from her and unceremoniously swooped her up, throwing her over his shoulder.

"Hey!" Penryn protested, and pounded lightly at his back. "Noooo! Let me down. You can't do this. This is kidnapping. Help! I'm being kidnapped!"

A few people around them turned their heads. "Penryn, shh. You're making people believe I'm kidnapping you."

"Well, you are!" She broke out into giggles and stopped pummeling his back with her tiny fists, instead trying to hold down his wings as they were unfolding. When that didn't work, she tried to tickle his sides, still bubbling with laughter.

"Alright, that's enough. Quiet back there," Raffe commanded and gave her butt a clap.

Penryn let out an indignant gasp. "How dare you touch a lady like this? Scoundrel! I'll tell my boyfriend and he… he'll spank you!" She started laughing again, kicking her feet. Raffe jerked his head back as she almost caught him in the chin.

"Jesus Christ, what was in that rum? It's like you've turned into a more violent, more hyperactive version of yourself. It's time I get you out of here, before you hurt someone. You're like a gremlin that ate after midnight."

"You know the gremlins?"

"I told you I watched TV."

He nodded to his Watchers , who were doubled over in laughter at the scene unfolding in front of them, and took off. Penryn's apartment was right around the corner, so he decided to leave her hanging over his shoulder for the short flight. She stayed surprisingly quiet during the few minutes in the air. Just one time she twisted her upper body to look at the night sky, almost sending Raffe into a panic attack at the unexpected movement on his shoulder, before he quickly adjusted his hold on her.

They landed on the small balcony adjoining her bedroom and Raffe gently put her down. Keeping a steadying arm around her waist, he fished out the small key for the balcony door out of his jacket pocket. Penryn had given it to him after the fourth time he'd woken her up in the middle of the night by knocking on her window because he'd wanted to sneak in and sleep beside her.

Raffe unlocked the door and gently pushed Penryn inside. She was already notably less energetic as she stumbled to the bed and kicked off her shoes.

"Not so fast," Raffe said, kneeling in front of her. "Lift your arms."

She obeyed, raising her arms over her head, and Raffe grabbed the hem of her dress and pulled it off. Penryn perked up. " _Oh!_ So we _are_ having sex tonight!"

She eagerly helped him unclasp her bra and let it fall to the ground. Raffe allowed himself one longing glance at her half-naked form.

"I'd love to, baby, but I don't think you'd stay awake long enough. I'm just getting you into your pajamas."

"I'm sure you can think of something to keep me awake." She gave him another over the top wink and Raffe chuckled. "Let's wait until tomorrow, alright? Though I think you'll be preoccupied with a massive hangover. Rum can be a bitch."

He handed her the long shirt that she slept in and she pulled it on with some difficulty. When her head popped out of the collar, her hair was sticking in all directions and she was grinning proudly, like she'd just accomplished a very difficult task. Though it wasn't a word he usually used, Raffe couldn't help but think that she looked absolutely adorable. He pressed a kiss to her hair.

Penryn let herself fall into her pillows and Raffe was almost sure she would fall asleep right away, when she suddenly jerked up again.

"Wait! I need to brush my teeth!"

She jumped off the bed with a vigor that Raffe wouldn't have thought her capable of in her current state, and stumbled toward the bathroom. Raffe shook his head with a grin and removed his own clothes save for his pants, then climbed into the bed. Penryn came back five minutes later and climbed in next to him, fumbling with the blanket.

"Now I'm way too awake to sleep." Despite her words, her voice was slurring with tiredness and inebriation, but she still managed to give him an innocuous look. "Hmm, what could we do to make me tired again?"

Raffe laughed. "Nice try. But nope, not tonight. Tomorrow, if you're still up to it."

She blew a strand of hair out of her face. "Fine." She rolled onto her side, nestling closer to him. "Raffe?"

"Mhm?"

"Would you read to me?"

That gave him a pause. "I don't think I've ever read to anyone before. But okay, why not. What do you want me to read?"

A small smile spread formed on her face. "Harry Potter."

"Harry Potter?"

"The book I found."

Oh, that one. She'd been nearly ecstatic when she'd found a worn copy of a thick book in the abandoned school library of Palo Alto High a few weeks ago, claiming that it was basically her childhood in form of a book.

"Really, Raffe, you've seen the Gremlins but you've never heard of Harry Potter before? How'd you miss that one?"

"I thought they were books. I didn't know they broadcasted those on TV."

"They were made into movies, you dumbass."

"Hey!" He hit her with a pillow. "Who are you calling a dumbass?"

She giggled. He'd never heard her giggle as much as tonight. "You! Now read!"

Apparently, drunk or not, Penryn still mastered the imperative perfectly.

"Yes, Milady." Raffe reached over her to grab the thick book from her nightstand. He inspected the cover and read the title. _Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban._ "Is this the first one?"

"No," Penryn murmured, her eyelids already drooping. "But doesn't matter. Just open it somewhere in the middle and start reading. There are no bad parts."

"Alright." Raffe opened the book on a random page. He had no idea what the story was about, so he simply started reading. At first he was confused as hell, but after a dozen or so pages he began to grasp at least a few basic outlines of the story.  
That much he had gained: The book was about wizards that went to a magic school. It sounded ridiculous, but he was surprised to find how quickly and effortlessly the story drew him in.

He expected Penryn to fall asleep within the first five minutes, but when he glanced at her after he finished reading three full chapters, her eyes were still open and fixed on him. There was fatigue in them, but also something else, something almost… dreamy.

"Tired now?"

"You have a beautiful reading voice."

It shouldn't be a surprise. An angel's singing could bring the toughest man to his knees, so naturally he should have a passable reading voice. Yet Penryn's words made a tingling warmth spread through him that had nothing to do with the thick blanket that was draped over both of them.

He noted the page in his head, then shut the book and gently placed it back on the nightstand. "I can continue tomorrow night. But now we both need to sleep."

Penryn nodded and closed her eyes. "Night, Raffe," she mumbled and he wrapped his arms around her, placing his chin on her head.

"Sleep well, Penryn."

He watched her breathing even out and closed his own eyes. He could only hope that Penryn still remembered this in the morning.

* * *

 **Portal and Harry Potter for the win! Some of the best things in this world! Also, I actually absolutely despise the taste of rum. Anyway, I was in the mood for some Raffryn fluff and so this happened. I really love post EoD snippets of their life.  
**

 **Hope you enjoyed.**

 **~K.**


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